By Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener

Part One: Introduction

Across my academic career, I have researched a wide range of topics: happiness, friendship, coaching, social support, pleasure, generosity, and hospitality. Because each of these is positive—they are all topics that deal with people at their best rather than at their worst—they fall within the sub-discipline known as “positive psychology.” Positive psychology is a refreshing antidote to a world that seems politically tense and a profession (psychology) that has long focused on negatives. 

One of the monumental achievements of positive psychology is the study of character strengths. In the early days of the field, scholars were curious to see whether it was possible to develop a counterpoint to the diagnosis of mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression. Simply put, they wanted to create a basic checklist to identify people who were good at things. Folks who are generous, or wise, or creative, or funny, or great leaders. The re...

By Shannon Thompson

     As a mental performance coach for elite athletes, my job is to see the best in people, and to help them to see this in themselves. My job is also to help people perform at their best when it is important to do so. The most powerful skill a person can learn in order to perform their best—and to learn to see the good in themselves—is the ability to control one’s attention. I am constantly teaching people strategies designed to strengthen their attention control. This piece will outline five easy strategies you can use to strengthen yours. We’ll begin by learning the basics of mindfulness meditation itself, and then move on to some specific mindfulness strategies. For the greatest benefit, I encourage you to practice these strategies daily. Research has found that practicing mindfulness for six minutes a day is related to an increase in the size of the parts of the brain associated with attention control. 

Mindfulness Meditation (best for training your abilit...

By Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener

Friends can challenge and inspire you. They may be an overlooked aspect of personal success.

Part One: Introduction

One distinct set of memories I carry from my adolescence is being warned not to hang out with some of my friends. Teachers, neighbors, my parents, and a couple school administrators all took me aside from time to time to express their concern. In each case, it seemed that they saw me as a basically good kid who was “getting mixed up with the wrong crowd.” The implicit message was that of “guilt by association.” Even good and talented people, the thinking goes, can be dragged down by the bad and lazy. Needless to say, I was not impressed with these adult admonishments. What did stick with me, however, was a curiosity about the potential social and psychological impact of friends. Indeed, in the decades since I was a teenager, I have come to value friendship as a sometimes-overlooked ingredient in success. 

Take, for example, the opposite ...

By Jess Hopkins 

High performers are often lauded for their impressive feats and extraordinary accomplishments. But behind closed doors, many top performers struggle with a debilitating character trait: perfectionism. 

Perfectionism is not black and white, but rather this quality exists on a continuum: for some, perfectionism emerges only when they’re feeling especially vulnerable, for others, perfectionism can be habitual, persistent and paralyzing. To better understand what perfectionism is and isn’t, I’ll turn to the wise words of Brené Brown, a researcher and storyteller who’s work on topics like vulnerability, shame and worthiness has profoundly impacted our understanding of how to strive for excellence without sacrificing wellbeing. In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, Brown explains:

Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect...

By Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener 

Introduction: If you don’t love your life, who will? 

In the annals of self-development books, there are some that have achieved classic status. Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking is one example. Another is Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. I can remember the first time I came across another: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. My father had just finished it, and he had left it on our kitchen table. Over breakfast, I picked it up and casually flipped through it. I was curious to know what these keystone behaviors were that set the most successful people apart. Almost instantly, my attention was drawn to the seventh habit, which I found particularly interesting. If you haven’t read the book, I’ll bring you up to speed.

Stephen Covey, the author, calls this habit “sharpen the saw.” It is his code word for “self-care.” Using the metaphor of tools, Covey argues that you cannot simply use a saw every day. Over ti...

By Shannon Thompson

In the world of performance psychology, fear is the primary foe. The examples of this are numerous and fairly obvious. Athletes can be afraid of performing badly at an important event, of becoming injured in a risky sport, or of letting their teammates down with a poor performance. Very similar fears are rampant within non-sporting domains. Executives might fear an important presentation, the failure of a risky initiative, or a disappointing performance review. Fear is present in relationships. We fear rejection when we pursue a love interest, and sometimes how our partner will react to a mistake, or perceived personal failing. Fear is everywhere in our lives.

A great deal of my work is centered around helping people overcome fear. Often fear of a poor outcome causes someone to alter their behavior so that the reality of a poor outcome actually becomes more likely. My job is to teach people how to recognize their fear, it’s effect on them, and to give them s...

 
By Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener

People often think of vacation as an opportunity to relax. Instead, it can be an opportunity to develop.

Have you ever heard the following sentiment expressed? “I wish everyone could experience what it’s like to work as a server in a restaurant.” I’ve heard some variation of this expressed often; perhaps even on an annual basis. To a person, my friends and colleagues who espouse this idea have worked in restaurants themselves. When they imagine a world in which everyone takes a turn carrying dishes and taking orders, I wonder what—exactly—they are trying to say. I think that some of them are wishing that restaurant patrons would have more empathy for the tough work of serving. I think, for others, that this notion is based in social class: they wish that middle- and upper-class people could appreciate what it’s like to be underpaid. Whatever the reason, they seem to want to promote a greater general sense of compassion. 

The truth is, when I hear t...

By Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener

“It is the host’s job to make the guest feel at home. It is the guests job to remember that she is not.”—Common Saying

Part One: Welcome

My earliest experience as a well-being researcher was studying the happiness of people living in slums in Kolkata, India. I can vividly recall my first day visiting one of these settlements. I stepped across an open sewer and into a cramped courtyard. Clotheslines spanned the space like prayer flags and children darted in and out of various doorways. A stray dog tore at a discarded rag and—inexplicably—a broken plastic chair leaned against a crumbling brick wall. The lack of privacy, the non-hygienic conditions, and the lack of material abundance were all expected. What was unexpected was the level of hospitality offered to me.

As I conducted my interviews, I was led to a house—a two room concrete shack, really—and was offered both tea and lunch. This was largesse coming from a family that lived on about two dollars a d...

 
By Angela Duckworth

Do you want to do things perfectly?

I do. Striving for perfection is what high achievers do. The good is the enemy of the perfect: high achievers are never satisfied with what they’ve done. No matter how good they get, they are constantly searching for ways to get better. The Japanese call this kaizen— “continuous improvement.” 

As legendary basketball coach John Wooden put it, it’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.

But more commonly, it is said that the perfect is the enemy of the good. This is also true. How so?

Because the secret to kaizen is short cycles of full-throated effort, followed by feedback and reflection, followed by an adjustment, leading to another round, and another, and another. In each cycle, you try your very best to reach perfection. You do as well as you possibly can before the clock runs out. You scan your email for typos before you send it, you think and rethink your strategy before you pitch it, you do whatever you can ...

By Shannon Thompson

“How will you go about finding the thing totally unknown to you?” – Rebecca Solnit

“I’m worried about my future,” he said, she said, so many of them tell me, with differing looks and a wild variance between excitement and fear. “I have no idea what I’m going to do.” My work as a mental performance consultant for athletes provides me with numerous opportunities to discuss the unknown:

“The doctor doesn’t know what it is, “ the soccer player tells me about her knee pain, which has plagued her for weeks now.

“I don’t know when I’ll play,” says the basketball freshman, who has yet to start in a game.

“I don’t know where to focus,” explains the tennis player.

“What are my values?” The coach asks, exasperated as he tries to articulate his coaching philosophy.

“Who do I want to be?” so many repeat back to me, eyes wide at the breadth of my question. “I don’t know.”

Uncertainty is one of the most uncomfortable states for human beings to experience. Sometimes we pref...